Empty Nest?!?

Where did that term come from? It conjures up a picture of a confused mother bird arriving back at her next, only to find that her babies are gone.

Well, regardless of where the term originates, I’m in it—the empty nest, I mean. Yesterday my son moved to Philadelphia into his own apartment. It’s a move he’s been looking forward to for months. I never planned on staying in Lancaster, he has reminded me, as plans moved forward in his apartment and job search in Philadelphia. My daughters left earlier in the Fall. One moved to Jackson, Mississippi to attend college, and the youngest started college in Philadelphia.

I woke up with a sort of expectation this morning. What will it be like to have obligation to no one but myself? I chatted with my neighbors, went to market, stopped in for a few minutes at the homes of family, and went by the local Wine and Spirits shop for some boxes. I spent most of the day sorting my books: putting some into boxes for possible delivery to Goodwill, carrying some upstairs to bookcases on the third floor, and re-arranging my favorites on the bookshelves in my living room. I finished a puzzle I’ve been working of for more than a week, and watched Top Chef on my laptop.

Throughout the afternoon and evening I’ve been listening to music that I have in a folder called Favs on Itunes. Many of the songs are ones my children have shared with me, and I smiled as I sang along.

Now it’s almost nine o’clock, and I’m feeling a little sad. Maybe it’s the haunting tunes of Gabriel’s Oboe playing as I type. Maybe it’s because I’m talking to my cat, Tiger, and he’s not interested. I’m sure it’s partly that I never expected to come to this time of my life alone. And, yes, it’s a lot because I miss my children.

But here’s the reality. I do not feel abandoned or confused. I did not wish for them to stay with me forever. They are amazing young people, and they are each experiencing the next phase of their lives, just as I am. And they are thriving. On a recent visit, my daughter Jubilee (the one in Jackson) hesitantly confided that she was ready to go back to her home—her apartment and college friends. I assured her that I am so glad that she is settled and content in her place in Jackson.  April, my youngest, while she is excited to see me when visiting, is rising to the challenge of finding her way as a freshman on a huge university campus. I love it here, Mom.

And me? Well, I’m also cautiously excited to move into this next period of my life. While it will be quieter, probably slower, most certainly cheaper, I am looking forward to what each day will bring. I think I’ll start going to the gym after work—no need to hurry home. I’m going to read—lots! Scrabble on my computer—I put the Scrabble board away with the other board games in the basement. And I’m going to eat soup—I love soup in the winter.

The nest may be emptier, but mother bird still lives here.