Listening

A couple of months ago I started meeting with Joann, a new spiritual director. It felt so good to talk to someone who understood all the noise in my head and tugged at the words in my heart. One of the changes I decided to try came from The Dark Night of the Soul, by Gerald May, a book Joann recommended to me—take a break from all the spiritual books I was reading. The author suggested that in order to hear God, one might need to put aside all the preconceived ideas and images of God. I’m the kind of person who, when seeking growth or answers takes on every idea or activity that sounds like it might enhance my experience. And all it really does is make me crazy trying to do all the steps or say all the right phrases in all the right ways. As I talked with Joann, I admitted that putting aside books and just reading the Bible might be difficult. I never know where to start reading. She suggested I might use the readings of the liturgical calendar. So, that’s what I’ve been doing.

I hope this is not just a phase, ‘cause I’m really enjoying it. Another suggestion of Joann’s is that after I read scripture, I might want to let it move from my busy analytical mind to my heart, and write what I find there. This has been inspiring and life-giving, and fun to boot! I’ve been posting some of my writing on my blog.

One evening this week I was talking with a friend, I’ll call her Nora, about making a big change in her life—she’s in her sixties. I hate what I do, she confessed.  I heard the anguish and fear in her confession.

The next morning I sat on my front porch, and read from I Kings 19. Elijah was hiding in a cave, crying out to God, and God responded by appearing to him in a still small voice.  Elijah covered his face and stood in the mouth of the cave. Then he spilled his guts—his loneliness, fears and disappointments. God answered, telling him what to do next. And in sort of an afterthought, he added, by the way, there are 7000 righteous people who have not worshipped idols.

As I started writing in my journal, I mentioned meeting with Nora the night before. She’s at the mouth of the cave—like Elijah, I wrote. Then I paused. That’s not what I was thinking. I was thinking it was me at the mouth of the cave. But I knew instantly that God was speaking to me about Nora. She’s heard God’s whisper and he wants to speak to her about what’s next. Help her Lord to hear your still small voice above the fear.

I smiled and nodded to God. I hear you, I said. A few minutes later I picked up my phone and called Nora. I shared with her what had happened on my porch. We had a brief heart-felt exchange and hung up. Later that morning I received a text from Nora:  I thank God for you. Sitting in my car reading I King 19. Nora.

I went on with my work, smiling. I’m so often the recipient of encouragement. It’s a gracious gift to be able to encourage a fellow traveler. And it’s exciting to hear God speak through His word.