For Johnathan, Jubilee and April Joy

What are these tugs of heart

these tears of longing

that fill my heart this morning

as I listen to my favorite music

and sip my coffee?

Thoughts and memories

faces etched on my heart

echoes of laughter and song

that fill my heart

and soul

They are prayers

that flood my being

for the children

I birthed into this world

who have flown from this nest

Such love and joy they bring to me

even in their absence.

And this morning I sit

and cherish and hold each one

in my heart.

Revisiting Mary

After the angel left
having delivered terrifying news
there was Mary

In the days that followed
her humble circumstances
didn't change
except that now
she was unwed
and pregnant

What was it like to have
the Spirit come upon her?
Was she sleeping?
Did she feel it?

And in the midst
of all that welcome
and unwelcome change
her eyes met God's

God, the father
of her unborn child
and from her lips
came songs
of praise and surrender

Really, Mary?
Give me that courage and faith
that in the dark
and cold of winter
something wonderful will come

In the midst of bleak and chill
a Light will shine
ever so small
and change everything

Intimacy

Minutes left til I must face the day
I sit quietly and close my eyes
I climb into the lap of my Father
He holds me close and
with his face in my hair
He breathes in my smell
I press closer to His chest
and feel His beating heart
pressing closer still
my heart begins to beat
to the rhythm of his heart
and for a moment
we are one.

Jesus, lover of my soul
let me to thy bosom fly...

To Jo

A crushing blow was dealt my son

And down I went with grief and disbelief

When I tried to stand I needed help

I tried the conventional way

Consulting a help professional

I knew it wasn’t what I needed—

I wanted someone to guide me toward God’s face

As I struggled for sense and meaning

Into the gaping wound there stepped a friend—

Someone to direct me to the face 

and heart of God

And as she listened to my story

She guided me back to the flowing stream

Where I plunged in with no regard for depth

 In the ensuing weeks and months

I have moved from grace to grace

At home in divine mystery and love

And with each encounter

She gathers up my life into

A gift, a grace, a prayer

…you are my kingdom come

-Nancy

JoAnn Kunz is my spiritual director and friend. 

This is Silence

At the cabin

you can hear
the silence

The tree
branches move
outside the windows

Birds rest
on the feeder

The pond is still
the sky is full of
floating clouds

We are reading
and dozing
and you can hear
the quiet

Leap of Faith

There's a space between worry and wonder

Some call it the leap of faith

I sit in my chair with my favorite mug

And it's not really a leap--no spilled coffee

But deep within there's a knowing

My name is called, and I hear it

And there's a shift, so slight

Yet a rock lifts from my chest 

And a knot loosens in my gut

I trust you, Father

Simple words that take an act of courage

Profound and true enough

To bring a smile to my lips

And a sense of wonder and awe

At God's amazing love and grace

Love in Hibernation

There’s an inspirational lull

in this bleak mid-winter

Moments of quiet are—

just quiet

No epiphanies or flashes

of insight

Still, the Light has come

and these cold days

are warmed

with bowls of oatmeal

and a stack of firewood

on my porch

And in the stillness—

the only sound the

creaking of the radiator

the only light the candles’ glow

the only warmth

the cup of coffee in my hands

Love fills my heart

to overflowing

and I’m content to ride this

silent wave of knowing

and wait for Spring

and warmth

and re-awakening