Sunday, February 10, 2013

Hope Springs in February

I passed by my quiet space
on my way
to wash my face
and I was drawn
as with a child's tugging hand
to approach
and sit and bask
in the golden light
streaming through the
window facing south and east

The mighty sun has won the
tug-of-war with clouds and gray
and today reigns supreme
Queen of the blue sky
Even the bare winter
branches reflect the glow
and me,
I can't stop smiling
as I sip my coffee
and think about the day

Gray

Written Friday, 2/8/13

It's gray--again
in fact grayer still
and now it's
wet as well

Yesterday
a bright pink streak
at the edge of earth
made attempts
to overcome
the clouds
but gray-ness won

I take hope
from the street light
and the sparkling
string of lights--
leftovers from Christmas--
on my neighbor's tree
across my backyard fence

Oh, Spring
please come soon
and end this
eternal gray

Saturday, February 2, 2013

A Winter Gift of Joy

How precious this gift
of my daughter's presence
while she breaks from university
To turn and find her standing there
wanting nothing, just closeness
Rich conversation as she seeks to
find her path of faith
from religions fraught with
baggage of mankind
Still struggling with identity
but step-by-step gaining bits of authenticity
Still hating but yet here to losing ground
to compassion and grace
How does one, at nineteen, have
such style
such courage to state belief
and not back down
Such strength to study hard, work
long, and still hit the pavement
running--even in the cold
Yes indeed
a precious gift
this baby child of mine
I'll miss her when she moves
back to Diamond St and
Temple and Starbucks...
remembering when I sip my coffee.

Last month, as my mother lay dying, April drove me each evening after work, to Landis Homes, and sat and read and waited for me. She kept the fires burning at home, some times literally with a welcoming fire in the fireplace when I got home from work. She was sleeping in mother's room with me the night my mother died. I could not have made it through that week without her presence and companionship. I am grateful. I wrote this poem a week before mother became unresponsive and subsequently passed to eternity.

Psalm for Saturday

I agree with David
The earth is the Lord’s
Who else could cuddle me close           
            in this little valley
Surrounding me with leafy sentinels
            for my protection and delight
Spreading bluest sky overhead
Broken only by the rays of sun
Which warm me in the midst
            of barely chilly breeze

He called to me from the
            bottom of the stairs—
            Go out the front door—
And I went
            following the inner urge
To a seat I never noticed before
Arranged just so I could
Have a glorious sight
The pines, the oaks, the autumn sky
The crickets, birds and occasional bee
The smell of cut grass
The toasty warmth of sun

It’s all mine
It’s all His
And He is mine.

9/09 Jesuit Center

Found this poem tucked away in my journal, written while on Retreat at the Jesuit Center. Just this morning I was again moved by God's presence...I wrote "When I sit down in my place this morning, I am immediately overwhelmed with the love of my Father. I think of Richard Rohr's comments of God being both-and, and it's so true. Here I sit in this simple corner bedroom, not-so-clean windows and my leafy African violets, and of course, my warm coffee. And I am moved to tears by the love of God pouring through my window and swirling around this wicker chair, wrapping me in its warmth. Simple and profound...all true."

Sunday, January 20, 2013

It's Raining in my Heart

It's a beautiful day
The sun is bright; the sky is clear
A good day for a burial...
We have to stand outside.

Inside my heart it's raining
A cloudburst, and the skies are gray.
No matter how much I blink
The tears keep coming.

It's my mother
Who they'll lower into the ground.
And while I knew this day would come
I can't stop the rain.

Nancy Perkins
1/20/13


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Passing

Fifteen years ago on a
January day in Mississippi
my husband made a leap
from here to eternity
and in seconds
left us prostrate
on the ground
in grief and pain.

Here now
in another January
Mother makes the leap
this time in slow motion.
We stand on the sidelines
Helpless as she draws
another labored breath
not yet the last.

He holds the book
the pages of each life.
He knows the number of our days.
And when the final page is turned
the life we love is gone
and we are left here
on the ground--
gazing upward.

Nancy Perkins
1/13/13

Ten minutes after I wrote this poem, I went and sat beside her, held her hand, and watched her complete that leap into eternity. All is well.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Going Home


There seems to be a struggle
Twixt the body—
Grasping to hold on to the familiar—
And the spirit
Reaching to break through
The veil.
And we stand
Watching
Weeping
Waiting
As the mystery
That is life and death
Works out in wonder
Before our eyes.
We’re caught between
Clinging to what we
Hold so dear
And wishing she would
Take that final breath
And wake beyond.

Nancy Perkins
1/10/13